feel so sad.
im always quiet when im down.
sat alone near the railings, feeling the wind blow onto my face.
i dont talk when im down, but i longed for someone to sit with me.
nobody came.

i dont think they understood how i felt.

last exco meeting, crystal told me that some of them told her,
"germaine is too fierce. charis not fierce one,

we sing wrong she also never scold...."
really? i wanna know who said that. ) :

yes. i admit that im not fierce compared to some of the other SLs.
i dont scream/shout at them since last year.
so i tried to be fiercer to them today.
but i still feel that there isnt a need to scream at them to keep quiet, cause they are old enough to think.
i dont scream.

ive closed one eye on some of the past practices when you guys were super noisy, hoping that each prac would become better.
well, today wasnt any better.

initially, it was ok.
however, when i asked you guys to lift up the chair, ( like what mr liew asked us to do. ) i see pple lifting the chairs up in different positions.
pushups.
i see some pple lying down, not doing them properly.

you complained that you were tired/sian. i dont wish to scold you, esp. since youre my friend. but i expect you to show them a good example.
youre a senior.

X smsd me "u feeling better anot? how come the bass everytime bully u? u must be stronger and fight back. dont let them take advantage of u."

well. i dont know if the problem lies with me or them.
am i a good SL?
do i teach well enough?
do they prefer someone else to lead?
how did they find sectionals, since last year? meaningful?
i want to know the answer.

thanks to those who comforted me.
appreciated. ( :